My car is fixed

So I got my car fixed yesterday. It turns out that a wire leading into the transmission had come loose. It was like pulling teeth trying to find this out.

I go in, and ask the guy if he knows what was wrong with my car. Perfectly logical question in my mind. I mean, after all, the guy looks like a mechanic, but he might not actually work on the cars, or he may not have worked on my car, or any number of other scenarios.

Mechanic: Your car is fixed.
Me: Yes, I know that, but what was wrong with it?
Mechanic: Your car is running fine.
Me: Yes, but what was wrong with it? Was something broken, something loose, what?
Mechanic (like hes talking to a small child, nodding the whole time, with a sympathetic smile on his face): We took your car for a test drive, and it acted just like it did for you. There were no warning lights, and no record of any problems in the computer. We found that the little yellow wire that goes into the transmission had come loose. That was what was causing your problems.

Now, tell me, would it have been so hard to tell me that at the get go? Did he have to make me feel like I was some kind of a drivelling moron? ... Mind you, if he had told me that the carfenfunger had come loose and freedlewhangle needed to be replaced, I might have believed him ...

But the important thing it that my car is working again.

I think I feel a spirit!

Yeas, I am once again chanelling the spirit of Emily Post, patron saint of good manners. And people, Emily is pissed off!

Today's lesson is Elevators 101.

1. When the elevator doors open wait for the passengers to disembark before getting into the car.

2. If someone is running for the elevator, hold the door for them. The two seconds it will take will not make you any more late to your meeting than you already are. Think of how much you hate it when the door slams in your face.

3. If your hands are full ask someone to hit the button for your floor, so not juggle your parcels so that they fall on the floor and hit people. If someone asks you to hit a button, please do so. And most importantly, use please and thank you, just like your mommies and daddies taught you to.

4. If you are holding a conversation in the elevator and one person disembarks yuo may either leave with that person or end the conversation. Do not, under any circumstances, stand in the door and continue your conversation. It's one thing to wait while someone gets on the elevator, it's another thing entirely to wait five minutes while you talk about your golf game.

5. If someone at the back of the elevator needs to disembark make room for them. If necesary, get off the elevator and then get back on. Do not scrunch yourself into other people's personal space, stepping on their toes in the meantime, in a desperate attempt to get out of the way.

6. Do not bring unwrapped food or uncovered drinks onto the elevator. That just leads to people spilling coffee on me. AGAIN! This is the third time in two weeks people! Coffee is hot and it burns! Do it again and I will say or do something that I will regret!

7. And last, but certainly not least, do not bathe in cologne or perfume. This is advisable under any circumstances but is more so when you know you have to take a small elevator several times a day.

And that's the end of class, children. Take this wisdome and pass it on. Live by it and we will all live much happier lives.