In the movie "The Last Castle" Robert Reford's character tells another "Everyone is a good man after 20 years". It is slightly unhinging to see people who looked askance at someone when they were alive all intend to honor them in death. I don't think it's weird at all to wonder what these people could be thinking about.
And yeah, you sound like you need a vacation. Perhaps you should go for a "Holiday in Cambodia" with Jaximama? A change is as good as a rest.
And don't worry, you are not the only one who thinks some of life's choicest experiences passed you by for others. I feel like that all the time, look around and you will find many others who do. We cope as best we can. I have some very good friends who take good care of me and I can forget by throwing myself into my gaming hobby, but every now and then when I see two people together, or I hear that two of my friends are getting married or having kids, I wonder about the road not taken - that I couldn't pay the toll for.
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And yeah, you sound like you need a vacation. Perhaps you should go for a "Holiday in Cambodia" with Jaximama? A change is as good as a rest.
And don't worry, you are not the only one who thinks some of life's choicest experiences passed you by for others. I feel like that all the time, look around and you will find many others who do. We cope as best we can. I have some very good friends who take good care of me and I can forget by throwing myself into my gaming hobby, but every now and then when I see two people together, or I hear that two of my friends are getting married or having kids, I wonder about the road not taken - that I couldn't pay the toll for.
You are definately not alone.