Gaslight_Dreamer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wyntir_knight) wrote2013-05-01 09:53 pm
wyntir_knight) wrote2013-05-01 09:53 pm
Entry tags:
Speedwriting - Watching
Title: Watching
Series: Transformers: G1
Character/Pairing: Breakdown
Rating: T
Warnings/content advice: Nothing but the paranoia. And the voices. And the watching …
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Note: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
31_days for the prompt "ignoring all the voices from the wall".
I just want to be left alone. I just want them all to stop talking to me, to stop looking at me. I just want to fade into the background and never be seen again. But that's not possible. Even when I'm alone I know that there's someone looking at me. Maybe it's just the cameras -- oh yes, I know that it's forbidden for there to be cameras in the living quarters, but unlike the others, I'm not a moron. I know full well that Soundwave installed cameras everywhere, that he's keeping track of all of us at all times. Always collecting his blackmail information. Always collecting everything on us. The others may ignore the truth but I know. I see the shine of the lens over there, blinking as it watches me. staring at me as it collects all my information for Soundwave.
I look away lest he know that I know. No that wouldn't do at all. Of course, then again, he is a telepath so he'll know regardless, but if I'm going to go down that path then I may as well give up now. ... I've tried, you know. I've tried to end it all to stop the staring and the talk and the looks. I've almost succeeded too. But then the voices start. ... Scratch that. The voice starts. Singular. Just one talking to me when I'm all alone. Not that I've ever been all alone.
Menasaur is always with me. Whispering to me when he thinks that no one else is listening. Whispering when he thinks that no one else can hear. But I can hear him. He talks to me at night, and I know that it's all in my head, and yet, somehow it manages to be all around me at the same time. Inside and out and everywhere. No escaping his sweet nothings.
I can't talk to the others about it. I haven't even bothered trying because I know what will happen. They won't believe me and then Motormaster will beat me up again. Hiding doesn't help because Menasaur rats me out and Motormaster always finds me. The others are no better. Either they'll make fun of me or they'll beat me up too. They know that they need me. Menasaur needs me and Megatron needs Menasaur so they won't kill me no matter what. But that doesn't mean that they won't send me to Hook. And then I'll be trapped to the table with him and Scrapper looking at me and there won't be any escape. No way to get away, no way to stop hearing the voices as they whisper to me. As they taunt me and deride me and call me names. ... Yes I know that those are all the same thing. I just want to make it clear.
And stop looking at me. I won't do this if you look at me. I don't care how much Megatron wants it. I won't talk if I see you looking at me. It's bad enough that Soundwave's camera is still up there and that his cassettes are still in the vents. They're always there, you know. Watching and seeing and telling their creator everything they know about me. They don't whisper though, so that's good.
Only Menasaur and the ship whisper like that. ... I didn't mention that? The ship talks to me at night when it thinks that no one else is listening. The Nemesis watches me when it thinks that no one else can see. It's actively trying to get me to do things that I don't want. Just like Menasaur it wants me out there as part of him, stepping on the squishies and ending their pathetic little lives. And then, every once in a while, they tell me to do more. They want me to kick Megatron. They want me to send him flying so that he'll never come back and we'll never have to listen to him again. ... Yes I know I'm not a leg. What do you think? That I'm stupid? ... of course you do. They all do. They're all whispering about me when they think I can't hear them. But I can. I hear everything. When they stop looking at me, when they stop paying attention I hear everything they say and I know the truth. I could take them all down. If I wanted. Menasaur wouldn't like that though. He wants to stay and kill the humans and then step on the other Cons. Can't do that if I'm dead or I run away where they can't see me anymore.
Series: Transformers: G1
Character/Pairing: Breakdown
Rating: T
Warnings/content advice: Nothing but the paranoia. And the voices. And the watching …
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Note: Written for
31_days for the prompt "ignoring all the voices from the wall".I just want to be left alone. I just want them all to stop talking to me, to stop looking at me. I just want to fade into the background and never be seen again. But that's not possible. Even when I'm alone I know that there's someone looking at me. Maybe it's just the cameras -- oh yes, I know that it's forbidden for there to be cameras in the living quarters, but unlike the others, I'm not a moron. I know full well that Soundwave installed cameras everywhere, that he's keeping track of all of us at all times. Always collecting his blackmail information. Always collecting everything on us. The others may ignore the truth but I know. I see the shine of the lens over there, blinking as it watches me. staring at me as it collects all my information for Soundwave.
I look away lest he know that I know. No that wouldn't do at all. Of course, then again, he is a telepath so he'll know regardless, but if I'm going to go down that path then I may as well give up now. ... I've tried, you know. I've tried to end it all to stop the staring and the talk and the looks. I've almost succeeded too. But then the voices start. ... Scratch that. The voice starts. Singular. Just one talking to me when I'm all alone. Not that I've ever been all alone.
Menasaur is always with me. Whispering to me when he thinks that no one else is listening. Whispering when he thinks that no one else can hear. But I can hear him. He talks to me at night, and I know that it's all in my head, and yet, somehow it manages to be all around me at the same time. Inside and out and everywhere. No escaping his sweet nothings.
I can't talk to the others about it. I haven't even bothered trying because I know what will happen. They won't believe me and then Motormaster will beat me up again. Hiding doesn't help because Menasaur rats me out and Motormaster always finds me. The others are no better. Either they'll make fun of me or they'll beat me up too. They know that they need me. Menasaur needs me and Megatron needs Menasaur so they won't kill me no matter what. But that doesn't mean that they won't send me to Hook. And then I'll be trapped to the table with him and Scrapper looking at me and there won't be any escape. No way to get away, no way to stop hearing the voices as they whisper to me. As they taunt me and deride me and call me names. ... Yes I know that those are all the same thing. I just want to make it clear.
And stop looking at me. I won't do this if you look at me. I don't care how much Megatron wants it. I won't talk if I see you looking at me. It's bad enough that Soundwave's camera is still up there and that his cassettes are still in the vents. They're always there, you know. Watching and seeing and telling their creator everything they know about me. They don't whisper though, so that's good.
Only Menasaur and the ship whisper like that. ... I didn't mention that? The ship talks to me at night when it thinks that no one else is listening. The Nemesis watches me when it thinks that no one else can see. It's actively trying to get me to do things that I don't want. Just like Menasaur it wants me out there as part of him, stepping on the squishies and ending their pathetic little lives. And then, every once in a while, they tell me to do more. They want me to kick Megatron. They want me to send him flying so that he'll never come back and we'll never have to listen to him again. ... Yes I know I'm not a leg. What do you think? That I'm stupid? ... of course you do. They all do. They're all whispering about me when they think I can't hear them. But I can. I hear everything. When they stop looking at me, when they stop paying attention I hear everything they say and I know the truth. I could take them all down. If I wanted. Menasaur wouldn't like that though. He wants to stay and kill the humans and then step on the other Cons. Can't do that if I'm dead or I run away where they can't see me anymore.