wyntir_knight: (Default)
[personal profile] wyntir_knight
So, I have had trouble losing weight most of my life. It doesn't help that my family uses food as a form of love and comfort and that my mother is Italian - so lots of carbs, large portions and "Don't you like it? I can make you something else if you want!" I've gone on diets and I've tried to exercise, but the diets weren't working and I was just so tired all the time. And I was discouraged. It didn't matter what I did, I wasn't losing the weight. And now that I have severe osteoarthritis in my knees I really can't put off the weight loss any longer. My gynecologist kept trying to send me for surgery or to this guy who specializes in liquid diets and isn't covered by my provincial health plan. Neither of those things were going to happen. Then my GP suggested a drug to help with the weight loss. It's mostly covered by my drug plan so I figured what the hell. I need to get this weight off my knees so that I can do a little less damage to my knees while I wait on replacements and I need to avoid diabetes (I'm borderline) and I need to avoid a stroke and/or heart attack.

So the drug, Contrave. It's a combination of Bupropion and Naltrexone - the first is an anti-depressant and the second is designed to help addicts. I start taking it, figuring what the hell let's give it a try, but not expecting a whole lot. I have got to say, I am surprised. My energy is up. My head is clear. I'm no longer feeling like it's a chore to get out of bed, take a shower, deal with people! Even my mysophonia is better! It turns out I was depressed and I had no idea.

We have this mental image of depression thanks to bad presentations of it in the media. We never see it as a lack of energy and desire. We always see it as the dressed-in-black suicidal Sylvia Plath reading loner who spends all their time under the covers watching day time soap operas and eating ice cream. And this is a massive disservice to a real problem. I was depressed and because I had never been shown what real depression looked like I never sought out help. I just thought I was lazy and anti social and angry all the time. My brain was in a state of chemical imbalance and I had no idea.

I won't say that I'm happy now. I won't say that I want to go to the gym all the time or run a 10K or be a sunshine and roses extrovert. But I'm happier. I'm healthier. I'm a little bit more balanced now.

Date: 7 Jan 2019 19:41 (UTC)
ultharkitty: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ultharkitty
I'm so glad it's helping. Best of luck with your knees, I really hope it has some goof effects there as well.

Date: 7 Jan 2019 23:13 (UTC)
mmouse15: Ironhide Bring It! icon (Default)
From: [personal profile] mmouse15
*hugs*

Depression is an ass-kicker, that's for sure. It presents differently for different people, too. I'm so glad you've found this out and the meds are helping with the energy and motivation levels. Yay for you!

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