March update

[wyntir_knight]

Well, I got very little done in February. I think that I posted the next section of my of Smokey/Ratchet first meetings fic up onto Tumblr this month, but that's really it.

If I'm going to be completely completely honest with myself, I think that the dry spell is stemming from some pretty deep depression. Someone posted on Tumblr recently about signs that "act empathetic but are really dead inside". It's sad how well that fit. So, I won't start whining about things that I know aren't true (like lack of readers and comments and how no one will read your stuff if it isn't BDSM Dratchet - that last one's just sour grapes on my part). Logically, I know that none of my fears are true and that the little depression voice in the back of my mind is just trying to get me to do something stupid to prove itself right. I just need to keep writing and decide later if I want to post what's written or not. After all, I have to take my own advice, otherwise I'm a hypocrite -- I posted a while back that we write for ourselves and post for others. I need to start writing for myself. Period. Full stop.

So, enough with the depression talk. I'm aiming to get back into things this month and that means the following:

1. I need to complete The Polyhex Candidate. Have about 1500 words written for the next chapter, but have been putting off posting it, because it's not actually a chapter's worth of material. I can probably finish the story in about 5 to 10 chapters at the most. I need to finish the damned thing or take it down and be done with these incomplete WiPs that I have going.

2. I have a fun little ficlet in the works involving Soundwave getting fixed up by Hook after Ravage mauled his arm when he tried to give her a pill.

3. I have the ongoing Smokey/Ratchet fic that I need to finish. I got through the contract, the dinner, and the concert. Now there's just the walk home and the rest of the night. And I need to decide just how explicit I'm comfortable making the fic. I have to be honest, the only reason I put sort-of-sticky into Mutual Support Systems was because it's what the readers want to see. It was a mistake, if I'm being honest with myself. I was uncomfortable writing it and the reasoning was flawed. I need to think long and hard about writing more in that style.

4. I have a Smokey/Ratchet Festival of the Five fic that would take place well after the first meetings fic wherein Jazz tries to play matchmaker between the two and get them back together. It would also explain what happened after the meetings fic to cover why they never ended up as an item.

5. And lastly, I need to think long and hard about my TFs as human fic. I need to decide what I'm going to do, what the plot will be, and how long I want it to go on. Last thing I want is for it to trail off and disappear into the ether because I get bored with the story and don't know where I'm going with it. ... And, of course, I can't write anything on this until Polyhex is done.

So, that's the plan. We'll see what gets done and what doesn't and I promise myself I won't be so hard on myself if I don't accomplish my goals this month.

Comments

[dracoqueen22.livejournal.com]

I know this might sound odd, but have you considered a sunlamp? I have a friend who told me that her depression gets worse in the winter, and I told her to look into SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and she found that sitting under a UV lamp a few hours a day (while reading or typing on the computer) helped her enormously. It wasn't a cure mind, but it did help.

I have always adored Ratchet/Smokescreen for many, many reasons and your fics just make me love them some more. When I clear off some of my plate, I want to try and write some shorts. Maybe if we write a whole bunch of fic, people will have no choice but to appreciate them! ^_^

[wyntir-knight.livejournal.com]

I have a sunlamp that I use at work and I've started taking vitamin D to help out as well. I started using them late this winter and it did help out a little, but the problem I was having with the sunlamp was learning just how long to keep the lamp on at a stretch, since I probably shouldn't have it on all day. I'm also experimenting with the proper location for it. Some of my co-workers complain that it's too bright when they pass my desk. I also think that the sunlamp can be kind of like the iron/B12 I take. Eventually I start feeling really good and convince myself that I don't need them any more. I really do need to stop listening to the little voice ...

As for Ratchet/Smokey, I'm finding myself very tempted to take on some of the prompt challenges. I've always found fanfic100 to be more than a little daunting, but the tformers100 challenge is a bit easier to take on.