wyntir_knight | Entries tagged with update 2020

So, it's been a while since I've updated. Thought I should probably rectify that. I've been having a lot of trouble staying motivated lately. Ever since the COVID lockdowns have started I've been struggling. And it's funny - I see all these other writers who have become so very prolific during this time. I mean, after all, it's not like there's anything else to do, right?

But I'm now working from home full time and living with my parents, who are both in high risk categories. There's the drama that comes with the loss of routine and the lack of contact - and the fact that thanks to me being home my father no longer knows what day it is (he had a stroke last year and routine is incredibly important for his mental health). All of this seems to have sucked all of my creative juices and the doubt demons have taken up residence in my head once again.

I've been trying to work on my humanized transformers fic but I keep flip flopping about the characters, the pairings, and the dynamics. And the Wings Universe fic (Smokey and Swindle end the war) is more than a little stuck. In fact, it's a mess. It was originally going to be for Big Bang so it was limited to four POV characters. But now that I have distance from Big Bang, I've realized that this story is far too big for something simple. I mean, I'm basically making my own AU since the Wings Universe was never properly defined and I'm going to need to introduce a lot more characters to tell the full story. ... Of course, it doesn't help that I've been reading a couple of epic, sweeping fics that really show just how good an extended, multi-chapter, cast of thousands fic can be. And they make me want to try the same. So I have so many other characters demanding attention and the reminder that it's going to take more then "tru love" to end a multi-billion year old war.

So I've been flip flopping on what to do and how to do it, and meanwhile I've started replaying Fallout 4 and that's just raised the fallout bunny from the dead. I have this idea for a start-to-finish kind of fic that involves two vault survivors and deals with a lot of those side stories and unexplored avenues that are in the game. Mainly I really want a political fic because there is so much politics that are just ignored for the sake of the game's flow. ... I suppose that a game about rebuilding the Commonwealth Provisional Government and turning all of Boston into a settlement with solar and wind farms and rooftop gardens wasn't going to sell. And it would have been too difficult to manage a three pronged Minuteman/Brotherhood/Railroad attack on the Institute or even peace with the Institute.

Yeah, so that's the rambling update. A lack of writing but no lack of ideas and a possible shift into a new fandom for awhile.

Three months of lockdown is almost over. I'm still in a bit of a creative block of sorts. I am writing - a little scene here, a scene there, but nothing that's an actual fic. Just pieces of something that might end up being something bigger. Dunno ....

Anyway, the things I've been picking at:

1. Out of an Orange Coloured Sky - a Fallout 4 walk-through type fic with a pair of sisters as the survivors of Vault 111. I always thought that the extensive side plots were just way too much for one person - especially when the Sole Survivor could end up as a member in good standing with the Minutemen, the Brotherhood, and the Railroad, and could end up as the leader of two of those groups (assuming the BOS cut content is considered). So a pair of sisters (twins) who are working to find Shaun, stop the Institute, rebuild the Commonwealth, and stop an inter-factional war. No big, right?

2. Bleeding Daylight - This is something that I had been working on for Robot Big Bang, and then had to drop because of a medical emergency in the family. I've been picking at it ever since. Had this still been for Big Bang I would be keeping this short with only a handful of viewpoint characters. There was going to be a lot of stuff going on in the background that I was going to cover in supplemental stories, but the main plot was going to be short and to the point. Problem is, with the lack of deadline and time limitations, the story has expanded and those background stories are pushing their way to the forefront. The core idea is still the same - the bond between Smokescreen and Swindle leads to the end of the war, but there's a lot more to it. Many Decepticons who aren't happy with Megatron's rule (stemming from the effective enslavement of his troops. And meanwhile The Autobots are living in an episode of "As the Kitchen Sinks" and there's a ton of anger, resentment, confusion, and such going on. I've been flipping back and forth on just how mustache twirly to make Megatron, I've been debating Vortex's personality and relationship with Swindle, and just ... It's honestly all over the place. I figure that there are some massive Transformers fics out there with a cast of thousands that people happily read. Of course, mine is almost all rare pairings and I'm not sure I can tackle either it or the subject matter appropriately. I keep talking myself out of things. Lack of sleep and COVID dreams are adding additional problems to the whole thing.

3. Untitled Smokescreen Backstory - I have this idea for a Smokescreen backstory for the Medical Psychology-verse. It starts with life with Praxis as I've been envisioning it - a sort of intellectual police state run by Functionists. Smokescreen leaves after it becomes clear that questioning the establishment while being an outlier isn't good for his health. I was going to deal with his flight from Praxus, his attempts to find work in order to pay for his education, and the consequences of that work. It'll end sort of leading into "Dinner, Music, and Dancing", and will enable me to get back into "You Remind Me of Someone I used to Know". Really, I need Smokey's back story to fill that one out, given that it's going to be all about Ratchet learning some uncomfortable truths about Smokescreen.

4. The Polyhex Candidate - I have been seriously considering rewriting and completing this one. I really with I had finished it years ago but a fiew really negative reviews and nasty PMs completely threw me off of wanting to keep writing it. I think I might be in a better mental state to finish it now, but since my writing style has changed since then, I really need to rework the first part so the last few chapters aren't jarring or feel like they were written by someone else.

Clearly I won't be doing all of this in June, but I'm hoping to get a scene or two written here and there.

March started out pretty well. I wrote a couple of little things that are going to become part of my CampNaNo fic when it's finalized (Smokescreen Backstory 1 and Smokescreen Backstory 2). And then Covid-19 happened and I found myself having to struggle through working from home without the proper infrastructure to allow for it. The change in routine is really throwing me off and I started finding it very difficult to find my motivation. Ontario has shut pretty much everything down and in general people are being really good, but my father is terrified of this thing (and at the same time almost desperate to get it, yay probable Munchhausen) so I'm trying to go out at little as possible. ... I never thought I would ever said this, but I really, really want to go back to my office!

So, my plan for April is to focus on CampNaNo with as small a word count the system will allow. My fic is a Smokescreen backstory set in my Medical Psychology-verse that will cover Smokescreen leaving Praxus, living in Iacon, and then jumping to after the Academy was destroyed. I've been hinting at his backstory in the various Medical Psychology fics and I want to expand on it. I'm not sure if it's going to be officially posted or just used in later stories. We'll see.

But, since I'm easily distracted, I'm also going to work on my humanized Transformers fic as well. Basically, my plan is to get words down on paper and try to keep occupied. Because as it is, I'm probably going to be stuck at home until at least May.

I hope that everyone out there is safe and healthy, both mentally and physically.

I manages to write and complete something in February - Devil's Deal. It was in response to a rare pairings prompt (Ratchet/Megatron - oaths and promises) and was probably a little too niche. But at least it was writing, and I'm trying something new in my Author's Notes. I'm asking directly for feedback - what people liked, what people didn't. Nothing has come of it, but who knows; maybe eventually someone will tell me what's wrong with the damned thing.

My plans for March are pretty simple. I'm aiming to write and post one thing. Just one, even if it's only a drabble. I figure that the more I write the easier it'll be to do it. So I have several things in progress:

1. The eternal Transformers vs. the MCU. I'm getting somewhere with it. plotting is continuing and I'm getting some ideas for how to deal with the combat and the eventual meeting of both factions before I move on to the story proper.

2. Last month there was a prompt on the speedwriting group about your OTP trading bodies. I have a little bit written for that, though i admit that I'm not 100% sure of where I'm going with it. I'm going to try to keep it short; a couple of chapters max.

3. I've found myself re-reading some of the heat-fics and I went back to an attempt I wrote some time ago. Smokescreen and Mirage are trapped together during a lockdown and Mirage starts his heat cycle - probably because of some virus or something. I stopped writing it because it was seriously dub-con but I'm going to see if I can make it work.

4. I was going through my emails the other day and I found several emails between myself and a friend that were the basics for some works we were co-writing and never finished. They all have the potential to be good, but I'm really not sure about continuing them on my own. The friend in question left the fandom several years ago and fell off the face of the planet about nine months ago. They aren't responding to my emails so I really don't have permission to continue the works. But I may take the ideas and general concepts and rework them a little. And of course, give credit to the co-creator.

I'm also taking a look at some of the prompts on 31-days and the speedwriting group for anything that piques my interest. Hopefully something will jump out and I can get some more written and maybe resurrect some of my older rare pairings. Like Trailbreaker/Silverbolt.

So, yeah, the hope is that out of all of that I'll get one thing written and posted.

Well, January was a bit of a wash. I got one thing posted (Don't Help Them) and partook in the Snowflake Challenge (I need to finish it), but I was still fighting the writer's block and self-doubt that has become a feature in my life. And then I lost my youngest cat. He was 16 and had been sick for about a year, but he went downhill really fast over the course of two days until we had no choice but to help him across the Rainbow Bridge rather than leaving him in the pain he was clearly in.

Between that and work trying to drive me insane and my misophonia acting up it just hasn't been good.

But I have been trying. I've been working on Bleeding Daylight and my TF/MCU crossover - picking at both a little at a time. And I picked up a new bunny from the Speedwriting group. The prompt was "Your OTP switch bodies and no one knows why." That led to an idea of Ratchet and Smokey switching bodies and Ratchet not being able to deal with the extreme input from the doors. But then I started second guessing myself and it kind of fizzled when I became unsure of the person to write it in (Third or first). I have the first bit that I speed wrote but it isn't an actual story with a proper ending, so I'm going to keep plugging away at it.

So, yeah, that's January. February will hopefully see things get back on track. We'll see.